…and so much has happened. There will become revamps and mods to my follows, reposts and well…my whole tumblr. Have a great night…

I am so sick of running damned chest pains….

Here is the first installment of my writing.  I’d call it poetry, but mostly it doesn’t rhyme.  All works presented here are copy written by the original author and may not be reproduced without written consent of the author.

I Touch You  By H.M. Hammond

I touch you…Like a child, knowing only pure love

Giving, needing nothing in return.

Purity, emotion in it’s rarest form

Like a loving child

my heart reaches, enveloping you

beating, steady and quick with anxiety

Racing to feel your soft, warm touch

Like a wanting child

knowing what he cannot have

so close, your soft skin and smile

My body teased by yours, unknowingly.

COPYRIGHT 2009

Please let me know what you think, as I will be posting more.  Let your friends read and comment as well.

I have some verse I have written over the years, most of it is kind of “angsty” and a few dark ones. I may start posting some. Not much going on lately. Work is kind of boring but I’m sure that will change.

More later….

…I think.  I feel that I could marry you, that one day you will/would be a great mother.

But the thing I can’t fight, the thing I know I can’t win against, the one thing keeping a ring from you, is the alcohol.

I try to tell you, beg you, ask you to stop.  But you don’t.  So that tells me the beer is stronger than me, better than me.

I know you won’t read this, you don’t even know it exists.  And until the day comes that I am stronger than the beer, more important in your life…you won’t know I feel this way.

If I say something, you have more, and you fall asleep in a drunken stupor.  I’m sorry, I have more love to give than you know.  But I can’t give it to you until this demon is gone.

I’m sorry…

…It’s the ice I hate.  So maybe that was the karma I spread last night.  While sitting at home, relaxing, I heard a noise.  A noise I had never heard.  “Crashthud”.  It was the sound of 2 large diameter tree limbs crashing onto the cloth roof of my Jeep, and on my bike. I didn’t flip, but I was kind of…upset.  But thanks to my nice neighbors, we had both limbs off my vehicles and I put duct tape on the rips.

Thanks, guys!  I do appreciate it!

More later…..

…Pretty good.  I woke up with plenty of sleep behind the eyes, no big calls, just normal bs stuff…and then a call from my personal doc.  Ok, so it one of the nurses, but still.

“Hello, sir.  Thanks for calling back so quick.  The doctor has looked at your lab report and you definitely have Diabetes, so we will need the phone number of the pharmacy you use.  And the Doctor has said to also put you on a medication for your cholesterol.  Do you have that number?”

MY THOUGHT…”Hey you insensitive bitch.  Ever stop to think that someone may still be reeling in their jockeys about the bomb you just dropped on them?”

My Answer…”Um…yeah.  Hang on…”

My own mortality flashed through my head, as I remember the discussions my Father and I would have on my expanding waistline.  About how I really did get all of the family genes.  And how 4 short years ago my Father died, partly due to his Diabetes.

Yeah, real good day.

And this next statement isn’t for all of my Nurse friends…

Just that one…

Fuck off, think of me as human, I know you deal with dumbasses all day, so do I.  But when someone sounds like they are having a hard time with the info you just gave them, at least act like you are sensitive.

More later…..

…Mustard.  ever get a craving for it…I sure do.  But seriously.  It’s time to rewind and then fast forward through the past year.  Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.

JANUARY-APRIL 2009: Left my blessed 24 and “my guys” at 33’s for Paramedic school.  A Monday thru Friday 8-5 endeavor to become…a Paramedic.  Within the first month I was tired of seeing the same 14 other faces in the class and the cliques (yes, cliques…with only 15 people.  I didn’t think it could happen either.) and egos that surfaced.  I thought I left High School.

The next few months, we learned, laughed and saw a few members of our class fail out.  It happens.

APRIL-SEPTEMBER:  Not only did I manage to squeeze in ALL of my study time, rotations AND the scant overtime we were allowed, but I became a rennie, kilt and all.  I even got the real sword, beret, and longbow.  Then I began to discover my real Scottish roots.  Then, as life does, I lost my final Grandparent.  It was my Paternal Grandmother.  The one I hadn’t seen since my Father’s funeral (her son).  My Uncle said that I would not have wanted to see her in her current medical condition anyway, and I quote “She just wasn’t her”  Knowing what I do know about Alzheimer’s and the fact that some, ok most, of it’s patients waste to near nothing AND their memories are kaput, it still doesn’t mean I didn’t want to see her one more time.  Damnit.  Oh, and I also still worked my waterpark job.  (so there school, I can do what I want and still pass.  *PPHHHBBBTTTT*)

OCTOBER-JANUARY 2010:  Not much else happened the rest of the year.  I passed Paramedic school, which was a huge accomplishment for me.  One of the things that my Dad said before he died (still hard to deal with sometimes.) was that no matter what I did, he would be proud of me.  But, by becoming a Paramedic, I felt I was honoring him, because he wanted me to become one.  Let me say this, I got my Paramedic for me, because of my Dad.  Hope that makes sense…

Present day.

I am in field training, I am sick, and I am so close to being done with my FTO’s that I can taste the fact that soon I will be responsible for my own ambulance.  It scares me a bit.  But I do it because it’s all I can do, this is why I’m here.

That’s it for now, Dear Readers.

As always….More Later….